Monday, June 1, 2015

What made me smile and other fairy-light at the end of a tunnel stories!



Bumper post today - I have a video, in it – a confession, a personal story of enlightenment,the creative work it inspired and a tutorial. 


As it so happens - the timing is perfect for this month’s challenge theme: “What makes you smile” at Our Creative Corner, hosted by Jan of  Scrappin' from the attic

Jan says “Your June challenge is to create something that will make us smile, it could be a scrapbook or journal page, a canvas, a tag, whatever your imagination dictates.”  

Hop along there to see what my creative and talented Design teamies have created, as well as see what you can win from the sponsor Tando Creative this month.  My piece was this choker and earring set here on the left. 


There is a whole back story to why this project is what “made me smile” and I am so switched on about it that I have put together a little video tutorial on how I made these little glass ampoule charms from reclaimed fairy-lights. 


If you cant watch the video but still want to check out the “photorial” instead – no worries, I got you covered! At the bottom of this post is a full post spread taken from stills from the video.  However I am going to make you work for it and you are going to have to read through my story first to get to it.

There is an exquisite line in a poignant poem from the 12th Century Persian poet Hafiz
"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being."
 My big confession is that I temporarily misplaced that familiar and personal certitude over the last couple of months.  Have you ever tripped and fell down that dark hole?  Something throws you off the giddy path you were on, that you were quite giddy about, and then you think that your giddiness had to do the path and the companions on that path? 

I went into a kind of unfamiliar crisis where I forgot that the light-source that powers my being in the world, my engagement with life, the delight with the relationships I have, the passion, love and heart  which I fully entangle with exists because of the light I hold within. 


In that short period of dark-holey-ness, I let myself believe that the light was external and that it had been dimmed quite a bit.  



But enough about that and onto the enlightenment. I have two awesome people in my life that I became fast and furious friends with pretty much from the moment I met them, we hang around together a lot – and we all work together as well.  Lovely Chris, Awesome Nicol and myself were doing our thing one evening when Lovely Chris took this picture of myself and awesome Nicol. This is how the story starts.


It’s a happy picture right?  We both look super thrilled to be doing what we’re doing, we look like we exude an amazing lit up energy.  

Here is the thing though – looking at that picture - would you believe that the day that this picture was taken, was during one of the the most heartbreaking periods ever for me in my life?

I am sure you all have been there before where you have had no choice but to let go of someone that is significant emotionally, spiritually and companion wise to you. That temporary vacuum created by the exit of someone so important to me, who had been such a beautiful part to my life had suddenly thrown me into an acute, anxious panic that the light and love that was there was turned off and that it had darkened with the exit of that significant someone.

So in that great delusion I let my self get lost.  And I admit that I stayed with that for a while, got stuck there.  I forgot who I am and what I bring. I just persisted in that space of self-doubt and judgement.

Nicol asked me the other day:  “When are you going to post those awesome pictures that Chris took?”  That got me thinking about the photos that were taken and I went to have a look.  A strange, and just slightly brilliant thing started happening – the photos started reaching out to me - 
I looked at them and they showed me being undeniably, quintessentially me. 
I thought "Wow, this brilliant picture was taken on a day that I was completely heartbroken and resigned", I still remember with particularly clarity how broken up I felt about the circumstances of that time. 

Chris unintentionally through his candid photo-eye captured a moment that was the best expression of myself in myself.  And this led to an epiphany.  It revealed to me the “astonishing light” inherent, particularly underlined by the fact that I know that it was taken on a rawest and most vulnerable day, and yet this uncontainable light of me burst through. Inspite of the distressing state of the circumstances that I was forced to deal with, I look completely happy, full of the  fullness of life and completely lit up with that moment.  In that presence - I was fully there, lit with pure joy bubbling from within from whatever made me love that moment.

What a liberating moment that was.  I came to recognise the brilliant value of my own light-nature, the ability to embrace each present moment in its own, with heart, love, passion and full engagement of the light that is within me. 

In that point of recognition I began to see my delusion for what it was.  What I thought was lost was not lost at all. The beautiful part was not something external, the beautiful part was what I brought with me to engage in that relationship.  I loved that relationship because of the light that I brought to it for myself, by myself.  And suddenly I thought – “Whoa, because I always have that light, and I bring it to wherever I am and to whatever I engage – I am not the one who lost at all, I found so much more value because I recognise who I am and what I am made of.”  

With that came the avowed realisation that I did not have to invest any more dark energy into that which moved away from my light, all I have to do is continue to invest in my own glow and be present in my own. 

That picture was the ladder that I needed to climb on to return me home to the assurance of illumination. This empowering insight MAKES ME SMILE broader than I ever have before. 


So with that in mind, I sought to develop a piece that would celebrate the insight and serve as some kind of wearable metaphor in that regard. Carrying a pocket-full of fairy-light bulbs is a little impractical…..and weird, plus to hide them would be a waste of their whimsical nature.  So the only solution that would incorporate my vision and intention was to fashion them into charms and turn it into piece of jewellery. 

The reason I decided to use the Fairy-Light bulbs was symbolic - their shape reminded me of a tunnel.  I was trying to convey the concept of light at the end of a tunnel and then there was the fact they were actually light-bulbs.  Light-bulbs switch on with a power source, and if you are wearing light-bulbs, then you are the power source that lights them.  Thirdly, Fairy-light bulbs are just so whimsically pretty and that in itself would have been a good enough reason to use them.  I share my journeyt so that if you are reading this post and the weight of heart-rending circumstances have you feeling a little cornered and in the dark - I want you to know that the light is always in you, switch it back on. 


And if you are still here and want to make your own piece of fairy-light charms – here is a quick photorial.







Well I do hope that my little personal story of recovery and the project that arose out of it inspired or encouraged you today.  Leave a comment if you have your own story to tell or if you just want to say hi.  I would love to hear your thoughts.

Here's a sweet little song to play you out.


When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

12 comments:

  1. Ok Candice this is one seriously gorgeous piece of art work!! You blew me away with this one. I'm digging out my old Christmas light and giving this a try! Just so clever and beautiful! Candice your stories always speaks deep to my heart. Thank you for sharing your journey. You inspire more than you know. Many Happy Days to you my sweet friend, Let your light shine on! xoxo Laurie

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  2. Hi Candice, your necklace made me smile! You have such amazing, original ideas and the ability to translate them into fantastic creations. Love those fairy lights. I am happy you managed to find your inner light, you shine out to other people. Hugs Jan x

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  3. Candice, I'm happy you recovered from this bad time... which opened to such a beautiful experience I see. It's fantastic you share this process with us; you inspire, and not only with your fabulous creations! (lightbulbs: I keep them in mind ! ;)) Hugs, Lys.

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  4. Beautiful, Beautiful Candice! You've brought tears to my eyes with your story, because I like you, have been down that dark tunnel--feeling that whatever external light that was shining upon me, was dampened and ultimately extinguished. But, as we realize, we are the producers of our light, our light comes from within and really--No One can snuff it out!! Our light may dim from time to time, but we are the owners of the fuel that will always reignite our flame!! I love the picture of you and your friend Nicol--That's just what you needed right then and there--the freedom to be yourself, reignite your light! :) :) Your GORGEOUS earrings & necklace with the wonderful fairy lights, and the backstory you shared in its creation, makes these pieces that much more special and meaningful!! Just amazing, Candice!! I loved your video tutorial, too--I had no idea that's how you start out wrapping things! Soooo cool!! :) You've successfully made me smile and cry all at the same time--Job well done!! :) :) Cheers to you, Candice!! XOXO-Shari

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  5. Wow I wasn't expecting your awesome post...I had just popped over to thank you for you kind comment about my canvas win over at OCC..bless you Candice your words are so kind. I'm so glad you are coming out of your black holes....yes life sucks sometimes...but from my life experience we need time and then we can use that experience to grow. Something good always eventually comes out of something bad and yes the light shines again. Hugs xx

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  6. This is such a touching and thought provoking post Candice and is inspirational in its own right. You deserve to have that smile back and to regain your confidence and inner light as you are a fabulous blogger, artist and individual who creates the most amazing art and projects. Your wonderful necklace is just one proof of your creativity and incredible talent for inspiring others. I am so glad I popped over to you today, you have lightened my heart and made me smile too and I am blown away with your amazing creation. Thanks for your lovey comment on my blog, I really appreciate it. Big hugs xxxxx

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  7. what a joyful post to read, Candice, and as Brenda says before me--touching and thought provoking. It especially touched me close to home, as a similar darkness seems to have enveloped a loved one. Your words may be just what they need--so thank you for that! I was really drawn in by your jewelry as well, great upcycle on the lights and a stunning piece of artwork you have made! And thank you so much for your visit to my blog and your day-making comment! Big hugs to you!

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  8. Candice...I sooooo enjoyed reading your life story. I think as we travel on each of our life journeys we sometimes fall off track and into that dark place. I am so thankful that you found your way out and back to your delightful, authentic self. Thst Joy is reflected in your exquisite jewelry. I ADORE your glass charms and I have GOT to try that. Oh my...how those little beauties could reflect the light! Thank you for sharing. Your video and tutorial was awesome. I, like you, have been awful about visiting blogs and leaving comments. Life can sometimes just be so consuming and things have to be prioritized. But, I am glad you are well and happy. Sending hugs across the miles... ❤️

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  9. Candice, I came over the other day to thank you for the kind words you left on my blog, and saw this post. I couldn't leave my reply at that time because I needed to read your wonderfully eloquent post, and give it the time it deserved. The line from the poem is beautiful, and they are definitely words for everyone to think on. I'm so glad you had your epiphany moment and saw that your light is within you, and not bestowed on you by others. Love the wonderful fairy light jewellery and its symbolism. Xx

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  10. What an astounding post to read, Candice - so full of honesty and so full of light. I'm amazed and honoured that you shared this journey with us - so touching, and so relevant for all of us I'm sure. Quite apart from your magical lightbulb jewellery - inspired and inspiring, I absolutely love it - I'm blown away also by your words - your own words as well as two of the quotes you've shared with us. The Hafiz and the R.M.Drake words are going straight into my personal collection of quotes that matter... so thank you for those as well as for this glorious, enlightening post.
    Alison xx

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  11. Beautiful piece, beautiful you and thanks for your openness...I too am in the same dark place cos of someone I am dealing with...it is a hard space to be in. I will try find my light within. Thanks for this heartfelt post. I needed it. (hugs)

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  12. So beautiful post! I love your story! And your jewel is absolutely wonderful! thanks for sharing with us your soul! BArbarayaya

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It makes me happy when you stop by the Tincan deli - I love interacting with other bloggers, crafters and anyone else who is up for a chat. If you leave a comment I am going to come over to your blog and visit there for a while!!!>