Sunday, November 3, 2013
Long overdue post
I haven't updated this blog in a while. I have been on journey of rediscovery and part of the reason that I have been scarce with crafty updates is that I have been focusing my creative energy on re-cultivating stronger social bonds. So I have been entertaining and I have been entertained and my weekends and free time have been pleasantly filled up.
This has been a wonderful turning point in my life – I should rather say “returning point”. Every day has been a gift of familiarity and remembrance of what and who I am before I lost my ground and tried to shift my direct experience of me into something that was not me. I have lost a few years of my life to the dark shell of who I let myself become - I almost started to forget what it was like to be me. But I am finding my feet again and I am so blessed to have reconnected with people who bring out the best in me.
A student of mine was going through a hard time recently. As I listened to her disillusionment,I recognised myself (as I was at the beginning of the year). Once I did get back on track I wished I could have avoided that path of self-inflicted misery and thought had I only had the insight that I do now, I could've been much happier earlier. So having been in a similar existential predicament and that my role as defacto guidance counselor demanded that I offer some kind of advice I was trying to find a way to describe how to get to the liberating route that I eventually allowed myself to take – without her having to spend as much time, effort and heartache as I did.
During my inward journey over the last 6 months - I have been able to come fully into a few simple things – No one could ever have the power to turn off your own light. Sometimes though, someone could blow at it really hard because your light is too bright for the darkness that they choose to hide themselves in. They can try to put out the light that is in you, but they will never be able to if you don’t let them. Sometimes it takes a harsh gust of reality to make you realise that your light will never be able to bring light or light up something that is in self-contained darkness. In that case you should not blame yourself for not being able to light up the dark. Like belongs with like. Lights belong with other lights.You just have to get up and go shine with like light kind.
When your light is recharged by another equal light, you will shine much brighter there. It will feel different, you will feel yourself shining, you will never have to dim your light- you will just shine – you will feel the warm, giddy glow from within immediately and you will know that you are where you are meant to beam.
Anyway, I felt a little moved to share that. I believe that when I have the urge to share as such, that it is a direct prompt from whatever it is that connects our souls and that it is speaking to me to share so that it can be seen, felt or heard, by the right person at the right time. The way things I see or read are the right things at the right time for me.
Since I have been focussing my energy on reflection – I have also redirected my creative urges in written musings as opposed to ink, paint and crayons – so I thought that I might share this short rambling that I wrote in lieu of something to look at – just to keep something of continuity going on and to let your imagination gift you with your own imagery.
Gift of the Crucible
Now that I have found my way
I am coming home speedily
To who I am in all my divinity
without hearing that I ought not to see
that I am the potter,
the sculptor of me
I am the best judge of what it means to be
and find myself grateful
for that crucible
that now yields
my glittering metal.
I sparkle survive
Emerging more alive